


Capricious

by VioletAmet



Series: Capricious [1]
Category: Shadowrun: Hong Kong
Genre: Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Language, Not Beta Read, Potential Spoilers, Violence, heavy subjects about cancer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-06-29 09:07:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15726297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletAmet/pseuds/VioletAmet
Summary: After all that's been said and done, Capricious finds herself sitting at the edge of the Dowager Empress, thinking about what her life has come to.





	1. Reflecting

As the Dowager Empress sat steadily as possible on the edge of the slum that is Heoi, Capricious decided to take a moment to enjoy the peaceful night by sitting at the edge of the rusty bucket of a ship. There was no more rain pouring down. No more nightmares that would torment her, as well as everyone else here, in their sleep. But, it all came with one major sacrifice that would leave her with a much deeper wound than anything else she had suffered from.  
  
Except for that one time in prison, but compared to now and then, she could say this is much, much worse.  
  
Capricious ran her hand through her bleached unbrushed hair, thinking back on what happened to her since she arrived to Hong Kong. “Shenanigans,” she called it. It was all a bunch of shenanigans, from that point up until now, but as much as she wanted to curse out the fate she has, she couldn’t help but smile. Smile and laugh, as she always did when it comes to difficult choices, stupidity, and just downright silly nonsense.  
  
After all, she did ate a piece of cooked meat made out of human at one point (which wasn’t bad), which was where she met Gaichu, then drank some blood that she believed was wine, which Duncan scolded her for. She had no regrets in either of that.  
  
She considered Gobbet the easiest person she could get along with, considering their eating habits and personalities, and Isobel a bit stiff and reserved, but Capricious understood why when they talked about her past. To her, they both were like sisters, much like how she was a sister to Duncan. They all struggled to survive, which lead to a lot of bloodshed and killings, but at some point, Capricious started to become desensitized by it. Maybe it was when they had first met. Something in her mind clicked, and in that moment, she knew that from then on, she would had to kill, if not talk her way out of things.  
  
She wondered if that is why she gotten along with Racter as well. Psychopathic or not, she did not care about his condition, and in fact, accepted him for who he is, since she found him so interesting in many ways. Especially when it came to Koschei, the drone that he created, and gave a piece of himself to. (She would be lying if she said that she wasn’t fond of him in a way that wouldn’t work out for her, but screw it. It’s better that way, she believed.)  
  
Him and Gaichu did not seem to disagree with some of her methods which would involve violence. Maybe Raymond would had argued about it, but they weren’t him.

But Duncan…

Duncan had his life set out for him before being dragged into Hong Kong. Out of everyone, she felt sorry for him the most. He lost his partner. His old life. And now, he is once again stuck with his sister, into this life of shadowrunning. While she seemed more at ease with this, he clearly was not, and never will be, comfortable with this.  
  
Especially since they both lost someone they considered a father just recently.  
  
Capricious sighed as she buried her face into her hands. If they were given the chance to go back to Seattle, and start over anew like none of this had happened, would she accept it? Or would she stay? It won’t happen, but as thought turned itself over in her head, she couldn’t help but bite her hand from yelling out at the sky.  
  
For once, in a long time, she could not laugh. Even when she try to force herself to laugh, she couldn’t. Instead, she cried. Cried to herself as she sat on the edge of the Dowager Empress that is her home.  
  
Yes…  
  
Her home…  
  
No, no matter what happens in the future, this is her home, and no matter what, she would stay with her friends. She found herself with people she could trust for once, and even if she had to spill more blood, she did not care.  
  
It was always like that for her, so why change that?  
  
Once she wiped away her tears, she looked up at the night sky. A genuine smile forming on her face.

She then sang to herself as she climbed off the edge, to return to her room to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I am going to do more, but this is my take on my protag. I really do enjoy the game, and would play it ten more times, even if my choices would be pretty much the same every single time, but that would just be repetitive for me. I decided to write something about it, since I enjoy it that much, and so, here it is. I just wanted it out my system, because I had this itch to write something, and I hardly ever write fan fiction. So, voila! Here it is... yeah... take it easy folks!


	2. A Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a message from a doctor, Capricious felt shaken up, and had to think of something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CAUTION - This chapter in particular contains subjects about cancer, death, and violence. It was a tricky piece to get into, but I wanted to take a shot at something that was inspired by my personal life, and something I want to give to my protag. Aside from certain things that were set in stone in the game, I had a few ideas that I wanted to give her, since she is more or less a blank slate to me to project on to. But, I still like to rely on in game lore and the likes when I try to write this fan fic, as I usually tend to do with this sort of thing. Sorry if some of the characters are ooc. I usually try to study them as much as possible before I tackle them into my fan fics, but it never feels right to me. Anyways, take it easy, folks.
> 
> Also, if there any errors, I will correct them as soon as possible. Writing fan fiction is quite fun and exciting. I tend to learn something from it, whether it's my own mistakes, or understanding the reason behind the characters. It helps me when it comes to writing original stories.

In the middle of her exercise, Capricious heard a beep coming from her PDA. As soon as she picked it up, there was a message from an anonymous messenger. Curious, she opened it.  
  
_“Dear Capricious,_  
  
_I know who you really are, and I also know what you need. If you want all of your health information, you must come to me at a hospital. I will give you the information, as soon you give me your answer._  
  
_Until next time, your old doctor.”_  
  
Capricious felt her blood grow cold as she stared at the message. She reread it a few times, to make sure that she was reading it right. It really couldn’t be… could it? No, it’s impossible. They shouldn’t had known what she has gone through, so maybe it was someone messing with her head. But, if they are who they say they are, then they could help her find a sense of security with something very personal to her.  
  
She could try to find a way to see who sent her the message, being a decker and all, but that would be risky in giving her identity away. Giving it to Isobel probably won’t change anything either.  
  
Her heart was pounding against her chest. She took in a deep breath, then exhaled to try and calm herself down. After rereading it once more, she left her room, and stood before Duncan’s door.  
  
She did not knock.  
  
Instead, she moved past it, to go upstairs to speak to both Gobbet and Isobel about this.  
  
From within the Matrix, Isobel noticed Capricious coming in, and was about to greet her, until she shut the hatch down. She frowned at her, before she jacked out to return to her body. “Somethings wrong,” she pointed out, surprising Capricious.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Gobbet asked as she stepped outside her room, then noticed Capricious. “Oh, hey Seattle.” She gave her a smile, but her expression changed into worry, as soon as they made eye contact.  
  
Capricious was trembling as she clutched onto the PDA tightly against her chest. She wasn’t sure what to say, as she stumbled over her words repeatedly. Gobbet grabbed onto her shoulders tightly as she could. “Calm down, Seattle, you are kind of scaring us here…”  
  
Capricious pursed her lips, then handed the PDA to Gobbet. She glanced at the screen, then looked up at her.  
  
Gobbet let out a low hum, right before waving both to Capricious and Isobel to come inside her room.  
  
After she passed the PDA to Isobel, Gobbet turned the heater in the center of her room on, to reheat a pot of noodles that she cooked earlier. It gave Capricious enough time to think about what she needed to say, but Gobbet didn’t want her to talk, until she ate something.  
  
Isobel’s brows furrowed as she read the message, but before she could even ask, Gobbet didn’t want her to speak about it either.  
  
“Food first,” she said.  
  
As soon each of the girls got their bowl of noodles, they slurped it up. Gobbet’s rats also decided to take a nibble from her bowl.  
  
Once they finished, Capricious noticed that she was feeling like her usual self again, but still a bit shaken up. Maybe it was the silence in the air as she ate with friends, or maybe it was the food, or possibly both, that helped her calm down.  
  
She inhaled deeply as she readjusted herself on the cushion that Gobbet gave her. “So… what should I do?”  
  
“First of all,” Isobel spoke up, waving the PDA above her head, “who is this doctor?”  
  
Capricious looked away as she clutched onto her shirt. Gobbet noticed it was above her abdomen in particular.  
  
“There is only one doctor I can think of, out of several, that could possibly send me this message. Dr. Greene… he…” Capricious shut her eyes tightly as she remembered her days back in prison. “He… never really took my situation… seriously. I nearly died from his neglect, if I didn’t fight so hard to even get a  physical exam.”  
  
The girls looked at each other briefly, before Gobbet told her to take a deep breath. “And this guy decides to call you out of nowhere with a promise to give you the information… and possibly for a ‘favor’.”  
  
Capricious forced out a spiteful laugh as she opened her eyes to look at the girls. “But, it could also be a trap.”  
  
“Maybe,” Isobel said. “What exactly happened to you?”  
  
Capricious was silent for a moment as she looked between the girls. She then turned herself around to make sure that it was just them in this part of the ship. “You must keep this a secret from Duncan.” She turned back to them and moved herself closer to them to whisper. “I had a tumor… in my uterus… they had to do a hysterectomy on me to take it out.”  
  
The two girls were taken aback by her confession.  
  
“Canc-” Capricious was quick to shush Gobbet with her hand over her mouth.  
  
“Please, don’t tell Duncan! Don’t tell anyone! I can’t have others knowing about this… I don’t want to be pitied, much less seen as someone who could just drop dead at any moment.”  
  
“It explains the scar on your abdomen though,” Isobel stated, pointing at that part of her body in particular, making Capricious tug her shirt down. “With that said, I think some people on this ship are already aware of it, and may be coming up with their own answers about it.”  
  
Capricious paused as she thought about it. Isobel is certainly right about that.  
  
As far as Capricious knows, there are two people who know only about the surgery itself.  
  
Racter and Gaichu.  
  
During a conversation with Racter, she accidently let it slipped that she had a hysterectomy. He somehow almost always brings it up ever since, in an attempt to find more information about her. “It is only fair, considering you know enough about me, my friend,” she heard him say at one point. But, she always find a way to avoid it, until Gaichu became curious himself. She has no regrets about accepting him into the team, despite being a ghoul, but damn his sense of hearing.  
  
Duncan, however, doesn’t seem to question it at all. Maybe, he came to his own conclusion that Capricious made some poor decision, which probably did not make him happy to know… though, he does tend to act as if that wasn’t the case. Actually, he may not know about her scar at all? No, that just hopeful thinking.  
  
Capricious sighed as she started to bite her thumb. “Let’s… take this job then.”  
  
“You should speak to Kindly first, Seattle,” Gobbet insisted. “She needs to know about this.”  
  
She is right. Their actual boss- their Fixer- needs to know.  
  
Capricious took in a deep breath, then let out a slow sigh. “I will go tell her.”  
  
—  
  
“Wait, you knew?” Capricious asked Kindly, as they stood in the center of Mahjong Parlor.  
  
“Of course I knew, darling. This person contacted me first, before sending you that message.”  
  
Capricious bit her lip as her brows furrowed. She felt slightly betrayed, but she couldn’t help it. This woman that stood before her, all formally dressed, with a long cigarette in her hand, is her boss, and the person who deleted everything about Capricious from the Matrix when there was an APB on her and Duncan. Naturally, she had to be in dept to her.  
  
“How… did you know him?”  
  
“Some past history… but nothing that you need to know. If you want your personal information back, you should take the job… but, I also ask for more out of it.”  
  
Of course, Capricious thought. “What do you want exactly?” she asked.  
  
She took a deep breath of her cigarette. It poured out of her mouth as she explained herself. “It’s needless to say that I loathe the man, and don’t trust him, so I desire his background information, and dirty deeds… but, if you wish to, killing him is good enough.”  
  
Capricious frowned, but something about it made her giddy inside. “Are you sure, Auntie?”  
  
“Of course I am sure,” she drawled. “Now go and take the job. Your wasting my time just standing here.”  
  
—  
  
Capricious went to her computer to accept the job. As she waited for the response, she wondered who she should bring with her. Isobel could be helpful, since having two deckers hack into their system would speed things up on searching through the hospital files. Gobbet however would give her some problems, considering her rats. Gaichu is also crossed out for obvious reasons.  
  
She bit her lip as there were only two other people left.  
  
And one of them she preferred not to take with her.  
  
Duncan.  
  
But, having four people would be better, just in case things go terrible, as they tend to do.  
  
Capricious let out a groan as she got up. She looked down at the hatch that lead to the workshop, and without a second though, she decided to climb down the steps, before she would speak to Duncan about the job.  
  
As always, Racter was focused on his current project, which was the strange designs that were displayed on the large blue monitor on the wall above him. Capricious was silent as she stepped closer to see what he was working on, not wanting to interrupt him.  
  
But right on cue, Koschei appeared from under the table, and lunged towards her. Capricious grinned as she found herself pinned onto the ground, with his legs digging into the metal ground besides her body. His sensors were fixed on her, while his engines whirred with intensity. One wrong move, and she would be dead, she thought which made her chuckle.  
  
(Maybe things would be better off that way.)  
  
However, Koschei slowly backed away, letting Capricious get back up on her feet. She turned to Racter as he gave her an apologetic smile. “You should know better, than to approach us silently, my friend,” he said, as he placed his gloved hand on the drone’s metallic body.  
  
Capricious shrugged. “Didn’t want to disturb you while you were working… but, then again, if you were given the chance, I am sure you want Koschei to dissect me.”  
  
Racter let out a snort as he rose up from his chair. “You’re far too important to me than you think, my friend.”  
  
“Because I promise on helping you build a posthuman future, and such?”  
  
Racter simply gave her a smile.  
  
Capricious laughed. “Right… anyway, I came down here to ask you for help.”  
  
“Help?”  
  
“With you, Isobel, and maybe, possibly, most likely Duncan, we are going to go to a hospital. Specifically, one that focuses on cancer and the likes.”  
  
While she spoke, Racter lit up a cigarette and pondered. “Very well.”  
  
Capricious stared at him silently, trying to read his expression in the dimly lit workshop. “No questions?”  
  
“No… unless…” he paused as he pointed at her abdomen. “You wish to finally tell me the reason behind your hysterectomy.”  
  
Capricious huffed out an exasperated sigh. “Then you should be thankful that you finally get to know the truth, when we get there ourselves. After all, it involves getting some personal information, and more, from this hospital.”  
  
Racter cocked a brow at first, before he gave her a smile. “Good… Very good…” he said. “Well then, don’t keep me waiting, my friend.”  
  
Capricious turned to leave, but noticed that Gaichu was standing behind her in silence. “Good luck, Capricious,” he said, before giving her a pat on her shoulder.  
  
“Thanks, Gaichu,” she responded, before she climbed up the stairs.

 

Now… Duncan.

 

  
Capricious once again found herself standing before his door. She forced herself to knock a few times, then waited until Duncan opened it. She gave him a forced smile as she greeted him. “Hey, bro.”  
  
“Yeah, Cap?” he asked.  
  
“I… have a job, and I am asking you to come with me.”  
  
“Okay then…”  
  
She stood before him awkwardly, until he asked, “What kind of job is this exactly, Cap?”  
  
“Oh um… we are going to a hospital of sorts to dig up some dirt on this one doctor. I am bringing both Isobel and Racter along with me, so we can have two deckers to hack their files and find information.”  
  
“I assume you want me to help you specifically, or…?”  
  
“Actually, do you mind protecting Isobel? She doesn’t really feel comfortable around Racter, and I can trust the guy to watch my back.”  
  
“Right…” Duncan narrowed his eyes at her. He doesn’t exactly approve of the idea, but he held a deep trust in Capricious, since they both have survived for this long thanks to her brain. “Let me know when you are ready.”  
  
“Okay, right.”

 

When Capricious checked her computer again, she noticed that the doctor had replied.  
  
_“Thank you for accepting the offer. I shall meet you at the hospital. Also, if you have any friends and plan to bring them, I will allow that, however, we are to meet face to face alone."_    
  
Capricious bit her lip. Whatever. She already made up her mind, and had a plan.  
  
—  
  
Using a fake identity that was given to her by the doctor, Capricious was able to slip by security with her team. At some point, when she was alone with a nurse, she stole their card key to pass it to Isobel, then separated the team into two.  
  
Isobel left to find some sort of server with Duncan as her guard, while Capricious was left with Racter and Koschei. She gave him a wink as she felt proud of herself, then wondered around the hospital building, avoiding any nurses and doctors that nearly blocked their way.  
  
Eventually, she found the room that doctor was supposedly waiting for her. Capricious found herself trembling as soon as she placed her hand on the door.

“What are you waiting for?” Racter asked. “Go inside, my friend.” 

She glanced at him briefly, before shaking her head. With a deep breath, she opened the door and stumbled on inside, not bothering to tell him that this had to be a private conversation.  
  
Dr. Greene blinked as he saw them both enter. “I thought I told-” “Yes, yes, yes, I know, Greene!” Capricious snapped, before turning her gaze to Racter who simply smiled at her.

“He is staying with me, doctor, whether you like it, or not,” Capricious spoke up, trying to keep her tone steady, before turning back to him.

The doctor growled, before shouting at the rigger. “This is confidential information! You aren’t allowed-” He was cut off once Koschei decided to force himself onto his unexpected prey.  
  
This made Capricious grin, and thankful to Racter. Compared to this quack of a doctor, she felt safer with the company of the psychopath.  
  
“I would apologize for that… but, no, I think I rather let you stay like that for now,” she said, feeling in power for once in this doctor’s presence.  
  
Back in prison, he often dismissed her case, and almost always had the guards hanging over her head in case she got violent. Eventually, when another doctor was hired, Capricious fought harder for an examination that lead her to get an MRI, which found the tumor, thanks to that doctor.  
  
However, once she had the hysterectomy, Greene never left her out of his sight. In fact, he became forward to her. Sleazy. Without a uterus, there wouldn’t be any sort of risk.  
  
That was when she decided to not hold herself back anymore, and nearly got into a physical fight with the doctor, which forced her to be sealed in containment for awhile. It was safer, she noticed. He could not visit her, nor could any other doctor.  
  
Eventually, she would be visited by some sort of shaman that specializes in curing diseases, which was a hundred times better than Greene.  
  
“If you really do have the files, maybe, I can let you off with a warning, or something… no promises, though.” Capricious stood over him as Koschei pierced his metallic limbs into the doctor’s arms and legs.  
  
Greene stared into Koschei’s bright red eyes, as his system whirred loudly. He then turned to Capricious.  
  
“Fine, fine, get it from my pockets! Just… let me go!”  
  
Capricious found herself bursting out into laughter. This man is utterly pathetic, she realized.  
  
She dug into his pockets to take out a couple of flash drives. While she could see they were written with her real name, she wasn’t sure if they were what he claims them to be. Capricious could check them herself, but something about it bothered her. She then turned to Racter as he calmly stood near the entrance.  
  
“Can you check these out?” she asked as she approached him.  
  
Racter took them off her hands without question, and plugged one into his bracer. After some reading, he asked, “Sarcoma?”  
  
“Yeah…” she sighed.  
  
He read some more, until he was satisfied, then plugged in the other flash drive, which contained more or less the same information. A backup drive, apparently.  
  
Once done, he held them out to Capricious, but she only took one of them. “Back ups are useful and all, but, you can keep that one. Maybe you will find it useful… or something.”  
  
Racter smiled as he tucked the drive into his breast pocket, then turned to the doctor. He looked back at Capricious, looking for some sort of approval.  
  
“Go ahead…” Capricious said. “If Kindly approves of me killing the bastard, then kill him. Besides… he is no real doctor anyway.” She then left the room, ignoring the cries for help from Greene, before she shut the door closed. He deserved this, she thought.

  
Once the group got back together, this time they left through a back entrance of the hospital. On the way back to Heoi, Isobel told Capricious that Greene was fired from his job some years back, but somehow, he had connections to people that gave him information about the underground world. He also made some rather questionable choices, and was apart of some “accidental” deaths, which made Capricious thankful for her fate.

  
Capricious reported to Kindly about the job, and was paid the usual amount of any other job. She was okay with that, since all she wanted was her hospital records that should had been sealed away in that prison.  
  
She gave the other drive to Isobel to make several copies of, just in case, then went to her bed to try to sleep. However, Duncan was there in her room, standing with shoulders straight and stiff, and muscles bulging.  
  
“You had cancer… and never told me…” he said through gritted teeth.  
  
Capricious didn’t want to deal with this now, but she had to. This was inevitable. “Yep. It was a tumor that took its place in my abdomen. The doctor didn’t care about my health, dismissing all my blood shed and hemorrhaging as abnormal bleeding, but that wasn’t the case at all. I fought, and fought, and fought, until I was finally approved of an examination.”  
  
“And… you never told me.”  
  
Capricious huffed. “Is that what this is? Listen, Duncan, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you- I just couldn’t say it outright! Don’t you understand how hard it was for me?!” Capricious felt something lodge in her throat which made it difficult to speak. All the traumatic memories she had experienced at that prison returned to her like a large cut across her chest. “I suffered in there! I cried, and nearly bled to death, but damn it, I was determined to live! To live and see you, and Raymond again!”  
  
Duncan was silent. He stared at Capricious as tears welled up in her eyes.  
  
Without another word, he sighed, and reached out to her which made her flinch… only to realize he was patting her head. “You should had just told me earlier,” he said, before leaving her room.  
  
Capricious shut the door behind him, before breaking down into tears. “I guess… I should count myself lucky…” she muttered to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep.


	3. Social Outcast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to tell if Capricious is ever having a break down, but she can't help herself but to pour her heart out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CAUTION - Subjects about cancer in this one too.  
> I think this chapter could be written better... but, hey, it's fun to give it a shot. Woo!

Capricious did not like to rely on medicine that wasn’t properly prescribed, nor did she like using any off the street drugs that she often found, but for once, she decided to try and rely on some sort of medicinal powder. Turmeric powder in particular. After a bit of studying on the Matrix, and getting some insight from Gobbet, she decided to ask Crafty Xu for a jar of it, but had to wait a day to pick it up.  
  
As soon as she entered into her shop, the heavy scent of sage hit her nose like a punch. It was strong enough to give her a headache, which is why she doesn’t come by often. That, and magic is not her strongest suit. Why try to make someone burst into flames, when she could just rely on her own physical body to slap a person and shoot a gun to take a life?   
  
Not that she is dismissive about it, it’s just something that she can’t see herself practice. She just doesn’t understand it that well, no matter how hard she tries to.   
  
“Hello, Capricious,” Crafty greeted her, with an eager wave. “It’s good to see you again.”   
  
Capricious smiled. “It’s good to see you too, Crafty. Just came by to pick up the medicine.”   
  
“Of course, give me a moment.” Crafty began to look through her inventory in search of the powder, leaving Capricious to look around idly.   
  
For a library of sorts, there were too many candles on display. The sight of the burning flame on the side of the room irked her the most. One tiny accident, and the entire place would just be ashes, which would be a shame, considering there seems to be a lot of books filled with a lot of information about all sorts of things.   
  
Thinking about it now, Capricious wondered if there were any information of that demon here.   
  
But… what would be the point of it now, considering what had happened?   
  
Capricious bit her lip. Maybe, Raymond would had still been here. Maybe, she would have a happy family reunion with him and Duncan, as she had hoped when arrived to Hong Kong.   
  
“Hey, Cappy?” Crafty spoke up, interrupting Capricious’ train of thought. She held the jar of turmeric powder in her hand to pass it on to her.   
  
Capricious forced a smile as she exchanged nuyen for it. “Thanks,” she said, before leaving the shop in a hurry.

  
  
On her way up the stairs of the ship, she saw that Gaichu was just leaving. “Hey, Gaichu,” she called out. “Going hunting?”   
  
“Yes,” he replied without a hint of hesitation. “I also wish for some fresh air, as being stuck within the bowels of the Dowager Empress isn’t as pleasing as you think.”   
  
Capricious chuckled. “Well, you did decide to take that room for yourself… and I assume Racter’s machines also bother you.”   
  
Gaichu simply huffed as she passed him by with a grin.   
  
“Good luck anyway, and call me if you are in danger. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy your night out.”   
  
“I shall. Thank you, Capricious.”   
  
Capricious wondered if she should buy Gaichu his own freezer for body parts. As disturbing as the thought is, it couldn’t be helped. It’s just a part of life, she thought.

  
  
Capricious placed the jar on the kitchen counter, before taking out a pot in one of the cabinets to place on the stove. After she opened it, she poured some of the turmeric powder into the pot, before filling it with water. Once she switched it on, she now had to wait for it to boil.   
  
“Hey, Seattle,” Gobbet said, nearly making her jump.   
  
“Holy- Gobbet! Don’t you see I am trying to boil water?!”   
  
“Yep.” She chuckled, before dancing behind her to look into the jar. “That’s a lot… sure, you need all of it?”   
  
“No… why, you want some?”   
  
“Enough for cooking. It gives things a little spice, if you use it right.”   
  
“More like bitterness,” Capricious added. “But, hey, go for it. Here, give me another container to split it.”   
  
Gobbet dug into the cabinets to find a container. Once Capricious poured enough into it, Gobbet gave her a pat on the back before picking it up. “Thanks! I will cook you something good at some point, I promise!” she said, before making her way back upstairs with the container in her arms.   
  
Once the boiling was done, Capricious poured some of the tea into a mug, turned off the stove, then sat on the couch to relax.   
  
Or at least, she tried to relax, but something popped into her head. Thoughts about that “doctor”.   
  
Before she realized it, she found herself once again in Racter’s workshop.

  
  
Why is she here? What does she even want from this man? Just because he- or rather he let Koschei- kill the doctor, it doesn’t mean much to her. Or at least, it shouldn’t.   
  
No, she knew the real reason why she is here.   
  
And she hated that she can’t control her emotions, no matter how hard she tries to smother it. But, at least she can make friends. That is all that matters to her. Even if she is the only one emotionally clinging onto this bond she and Racter have.   
  
Unlike the rest of the team, Capricious believed that if he really, really wanted to, he could leave everyone behind in pursuit for something greater. He did it before, because of betrayal, so why not do it again? Why not pack up his things and leave?   
  
Capricious stared at Koschei as he stood before her, with his “eyes” glaring at her.   
  
She then looked up from him, to take in the shop itself.   
  
The mechanical arms that were built on the wall. The pipes, tubes, and the likes, that are secured in place. Everything in here was constructed by Racter, for his own purposes.   
  
Maybe, even if he did wanted to leave, he wouldn’t. He put too much effort into this workshop to leave it all behind.   
  
She took a sip of her tea, before finally placing her eyes on the rigger. Taller than her, but roughly shorter than Duncan. Well, aside from Isobel, everyone is taller than Capricious. She hated that.   
  
“I assume you aren’t here just to stare at things, my friend,” Racter spoke up, letting smoke puff out from his lips.   
  
“No. Sorry, I didn’t mean to... I… am here because I just want to talk… I guess…”   
  
Racter smiled as he leaned against a railing.  “I am always happy to talk. Everything that we have spoken up to this point has been interesting, as you always have been a good listener-” “Sound board, you mean?” He let out a snort. “What have you. but, I was not lying when I said that I see you as important to me. Even more so, now that I read your medical report.”   
  
Capricious sighed as she leaned against the railing opposite of him. “Why?” she asked, not sure if she really wanted to know.   
  
“Because, it’s rare to be diagnosed with that type of cancer for a woman such as yourself. Very rare. Tell me, did you expect it to be cancer when you started to bleed?”   
  
Capricious didn’t want to remember, but she knew she couldn’t keep it to herself anymore. “No, I did not.”   
  
Racter inhaled the cigarette deeply. “Hemoglobin levels dropped down below 7, forcing you to have blood transfusions quite a few times. You were undeniably weak, but strong enough to fight for a thorough physical exam. You had helped from other prisoners to give you the support you needed, then, you got it. You had three surgeries, before being passed off to a shaman to make sure that you would be, at least, one hundred percent cleared. And this all started when you were nineteen years old. Oh, and despite the fact that your uterus had to be taken out, due to the size of the tumor, they still let you keep your ovaries… fascinating.”   
  
“Sure, fascinating…” Capricious took a sip of her tea as she remembered everything clearly. “Eight years in prison… and that was the worse thing I suffered from.” She gave a brief dark chuckle. “Before I left prison, they had plans to wait some time before they could transfer the files to a hospital that specialized in this sort of thing…” She then waved her hand in the air to the environment around her. “But now, look at where I am at. Dead to the world, but very much alive in a ship.”   
  
Racter grinned. “You are certainly alive, my friend. Living every moment, despite your condition, running in the shadows, making a killing from it… literally speaking. Tell me, does it bother you?”   
  
Capricious raised a brow. “What do you mean?”   
  
“To not be sure if you are completely cured from the disease? We have a doctor, but I don’t believe he has the proper equipments to help you. There is no doctor here that specializes in oncology and gynecology either.”   
  
Capricious silently sipped her tea, staring at Racter’s face for a moment, before turning her gaze down to his belt. She then forced herself to look at anything else in the workshop, because she started to feel shameful and didn’t want to stare at him for too long. “If I could… maybe I would tear my entire body apart to replace it with cybernetics…”   
  
Racter’s brows raised as his smile widen. That would be a sight to see, he thought.   
  
“But, I am not like you… I can’t take that risk. I want to keep my sanity… or at least keep a level head about things. I took therapy in that prison… but, I know I am not the same person I was before.” Capricious felt herself losing her composure quickly, before she took a chug of her tea. The taste of it was awful, but it was growing cold. Once she was finished, she dropped her hand, still clinging onto the mug, to stare into Racter’s eyes. “When shit hit the fan when I first got here, I knew what I had to do. When I had to ‘kill myself’, I did not have second thoughts. In fact, I was eager to erase myself from the Matrix. From the world… But, to answer your question- yes. Yes I am afraid to not be sure if I am cured from this cancer.”   
  
She then found herself grinning. “But, damn it, I am determined to ride this out until my last breath.”   
  
Racter hummed as he stared at her trembling before him. “It’s clear that you are suffering from your trauma… but, at the same time you are indeed rather eager to survive. What is it that drives you to continue?”   
  
“Out of spite, mostly. I was devastated when I learned of my diagnoses, but what pushed me to seek out treatment was the idea of seeing my family again. Raymond and Duncan…” She paused as she remembered something. “But, I made one minor mistake, which separated me from them and the rest of the world for several difficult years back then.”   
  
She took in a deep breath, taking in the scent of metal, oil, and cigarette smoke into her nostrils, before huffing out a heavy sigh. “The ‘brains’ he called me… as if. I don’t care what Duncan thinks of me; I am far from being the ‘brains’, and I would rather just be… whatever the hell I am.”   
  
Racter walked towards his desk to crush the stub of his cigarette against it. “I believe you have managed well enough, my friend… even though I can’t understand what you have gone through.” He then turned back to her with his usual smile. “But, I am grateful that you finally decided to talk to me about your hysterectomy.”   
  
Capricious paused as she thought about it. Then she realized something, and grinned. “Now I know why I fancied you…” she muttered.   
  
Racter blinked in confusion. “Pardon?”   
  
Capricious only shook her head while laughing. “I was just thinking about something… Oh, and by the way, thanks for killing Greene. He deserved it.”   
  
“It was Koschei that had done it,” he replied while nodding his head towards the drone.   
  
Koschei was quietly standing close to Capricious, staring at her. She smiled at him, and would had pet his chassis, if she wasn’t afraid of losing her hand. She gave it a coo and a wave instead. “Thank you too, buddy.” She giggled, before turning back to Racter. “If there was one thing I have admired about you, it has to be your mind. Even if you don’t think of me in the same way, I do have high respect for you and your work, Racter.”   
  
“Oh?”   
  
“You are too clever for your own good, which I should find disturbing, but, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t impressed.” She laughed, though she wasn’t sure where it was coming from exactly. “Tell me, why did you say it would only be fair if I told you about the surgery, even though you told me everything about yourself out of your own free will? You pry, and pry, until you finally knew the truth about it. Even if it’s to benefit you in your studies, and give you a step forward in your goal for a posthuman future, you really dug your fangs too deep into me to let me go. You took advantage of me and my curiosity, until I agreed to stick by you and your ideas.”   
  
Racter’s grin grew wider. “Do you hate me for it?”   
  
Capricious shook her head with a smile. “This isn’t the first time that you had done something like this. If I recall correctly, you wanted me to think it was my idea for you to join when we first met. I found you too interesting to not say no to at that point, and now… well, it seems that I am just too smittened by you… and you know that, don’t you?”   
  
Racter was silent, but still smiled.   
  
Capricious shrugged. “Well, whatever. I guess I just can’t say no to you… and neither to Gaichu. You both are just too interesting to not talk to…" She paused. "It… reminds me of something I’ve read in a book once.”   
  
Racter raised a brow. “What sort of book?”   
  
“A very old novel of sorts… There was a paragraph that I reread over and over, until I could remember it from the top of my head…” She shut her eyes as she recalled it word for word in her head. 

  
_[People talk of “social outcasts.” The words apparently denote the miserable losers of the world, the vicious ones, but I feel as though I have been a “social outcast” from the moment I was born. If ever I meet someone society has designated as an outcast, I invariably feel affection for him, an emotion which carries me away in melting tenderness.]_

  
She then opened her eyes to stare at the man before her with a smile. “Maybe… I am just lying to myself… Projecting an idea onto you, that you clearly are not… I suppose that is only fair, since you see me as a sound board.” She laughed.   
  
Before Racter could say anything, Capricious continued. “But, I really don’t mind. It can’t be helped. I promise to help you, and I will stand by that promise. I want to see what you are capable of myself, even if I can’t do much in exchange. You and the others are too important for me to lose.”   
  
She then wrapped her hand around the staircase railing. “Anyway, I kept you busy for too long, I believe. Keep up the great work, Racter,” she said before making her way up, with her empty mug in hand.   
  
Koschei returned to Racter’s side, letting him rest his hand against his metallic body. He wasn’t sure how to feel about how their conversation ended. She was quite energetic, though he could hear her voice tremble as she spoke.   
  
But despite it, her words seemed genuinely honest, and must had taken a lot of courage to pour her heart all out to him, even though he couldn’t empathize with her. Racter wondered if that is all she wanted. Someone for her to listen to, and not be pitied for her sorry state.   
  
Once he glanced to Koschei, he quickly waved the thought away before he turned back to his work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The paragraph from a book that Cap is thinking about is from No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai. A good book, though it is quite dark. (And yes, I am a fan of anime too... heh...)


	4. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's only natural to feel this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CAUTION - Cancer mention.  
> Boy, I can't stay away from this subject, can I? This originally was supposed to be something small and sweet, but I think I derailed it into a completely different direction.  
> But, I have a plan on how to end this.

“Hey, Cap,” Duncan spoke up, getting his sister’s attention as she ate to her heart’s content in this rather run down restaurant. “I need to talk to you about something important.”   
  
She raised a brow while reaching for her glass of water to gulp down the soup. Normally, Gobbet would be here with them, just so she can eat away at anything or everything if she wanted to, but Duncan just wanted a meal with Capricious alone. She never thought of it to be suspicious, and just assumed Duncan wanted to spend time with her as family.   
  
“What do you want to talk about?” she asked.   
  
Duncan adjusted himself on his seat as he cleared his throat. Whatever it was he wanted to talk about clearly made him uncomfortable, which is why they needed to be alone. Being in public also means he can’t lash out, which may had been his intention. Or maybe he knew Capricious enough that bringing her out to eat would make her happy enough to talk about certain subjects with ease. “I need to know if…” his clenched his hands together, surrounding his unfinished plate of food, and gritted his teeth. “If this… condition of yours is going to give you trouble.”   
  
Capricious hesitated. “I… I don’t know, honestly. So far, it seems as if everything is okay, and there has been nothing out of the ordinary physically, but… I don’t know.”   
  
“Don’t you think you should get yourself checked? I know it’s going to be difficult, but it’s important for me to know. I… don’t want to lose you, sis.”   
  
Capricious stared at him in silence. With Raymond gone, all the siblings have left is each other. Just like when they found each other.   
  
But, things are different know. They aren’t alone. They are apart of a team.   
  
Sure, they have to kill, steal, and do other sorts of dirty jobs, but they are a team nonetheless.   
  
Capricious huffed as she clasped her hands over his. “I will be alright, Duncan. Please don’t worry about me, okay? We got this!”   
  
He stared at her as he separated his hands away from hers. “I want to believe that… but, I can’t.”   
  
Capricious’ lips thinned. “Well… let’s just get through this, okay? I promise you, I will be alright.” She then resumed eating, even though the flavor of the food tasted a bit different on her tongue now.   
  
—   
  
Jobs hardly ever went easy for the crew, as it almost always ends up in someone being dead.   
  
Somehow, it’s never one of the crew.   
  
But, they always wound up with terrible injuries that had to be taken care of once they return to Heoi.   
  
Except of worrying for themselves this time, they looked to Capricious as she held onto her bleeding shoulder. Gobbet was able to mend it, but the bullet was too deep inside that it had to be surgically removed. Duncan looked to Capricious with narrowed eyes and a snarl.   
  
Gaichu however was indifferent.   
  
“Seriously, guys,” Capricious growled as she tried to endure the pain. “Don’t worry… let’s just… get out of here!”   
  
Duncan grabbed her by her other shoulder, to help her up, and took the lead on getting all of them out of the building.   
  
—   
  
Capricious laid on her bed, staring at the bottom of the top bunk. Thanks to Ambrose, the bullet was taken out, leaving her with a bandaged up shoulder. Unfortunately, she had to deal with discomfort for a little while.   
  
This is okay, she thought. At least she lived.   
  
However, the pacing of Duncan’s footsteps started to irk her.   
  
She turned her heads towards him, with a forced smile. “Can you please leave, Duncan?” she asked.   
  
Duncan stopped to face her. He narrowed his eyes at her before huffing and shook off the sweat from his body. “I… I can’t just leave you like this!” he yelled.   
  
“Yes, you can, you hardhead. It’s just an injury.”   
  
“‘Just an injury…’” he repeated. “Just an injury?! You were shot!”   
  
Capricious didn’t want a fight. She just wanted rest. “We get shot all the time, Duncan, and this is the first time you act this way around me,” she stated, trying to act as calm as possible. She didn’t want to reopen her injury.   
  
“But-” “No buts, Duncan!” she interrupted, trying to raise her tone to fight back against his. “Get out, now! Leave me alone, and let me rest! I am not dead!”   
  
“Yet! You are not dead, yet, Cap.”   
  
Capricious scowled at him, before turning away. “Exactly… now, go, away.”   
  
Duncan glared at her, still enraged, but he stomped out of her room, leaving her alone.   
  
It wasn’t long until Capricious could hear his fists (and/or head) banging against the wall. She sighed as she reached out for her headphones to drown out the thunderous pounding with music.   
  
—   
  
Capricious didn’t expect Gaichu to be the one who knocked on her door. She allowed him to enter, and for him to take her chair, but instead, he knelt on the ground before her, while she sat on her bed. She could still feel discomfort in her shoulder from her surgery.   
  
“You hardly ever stop by my room, Gaichu,” she said. “Do you need anything?”   
  
“No, I do not. I only wish to see how well you are doing.” He then sniffed the air around them. “It seems that you have been recovering well. I don’t smell any hint of blood.”   
  
She chuckled briefly. “I’ve been trying to keep it clean, and not do anything that would put strain on my body.”   
  
“As you should.”   
  
There was silence between them. Capricious could only guess why.   
  
“You want to know about my condition, don’t you?” she asked.   
  
Gaichu shook his head. “I already know, from what the others told me. It’s not easy to carry such a heavy burden, but, I know that you have the strength to push past this, despite your anxiety. I can not compare your cancer to my infection, but if I can handle being a ghoul, you can survive from your disease. Unlike my infection, it can be cured with the right medicine… which was given to you in prison, if I am correct.”   
  
Capricious stared into Gaichu’s milky white eyes as she replied, “Yes, you are correct. They treated me, and made sure that there were no signs of it back then. Still, it has to be checked up every now and then to make sure there is no signs of it coming back.”   
  
“Which is hard to tell without the right equipment…”   
  
Capricious sighed. “That is what Racter told me… but, listen, please, don’t feel sorry for me because I have cancer. I can tell that everyone is worried about me, except Racter. He just seems interested in it for his own reasons, which I am okay with. If anything, I would like to understand how and why this happened to me too… but to worry? No. I don’t want to worry. I know that I am suffering from terrible anxiety, but I can’t keep being afraid. I have to focus on things that are important, which is our survival and our jobs.”   
  
Gaichu was silent, but he could hear Capricious’ voice starting to tremble. He slowly got back on his feet, and extended his hand out to her. Capricious reached out to him, only to change her mind and lunged at him to wrap her arms around his body.

She finally broke down into tears, just like she would had in private.   
  
Gaichu didn’t expect her to hug him, but he let her cry in his arms. He could sense there were others watching them, but the only sound that could be heard is Capricious sobs.   
  
Gobbet, Isobel, and Duncan decided to leave them be to give her room to breathe.


	5. Renegade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she made her choice, he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to wrap up Cap's personal story, though I may write more about her and the others again sometime soon. It may be self indulgent at worst, but I hope it will be at least somewhat better. Take it easy peeps, and hope ya enjoy!
> 
> Also, sorry for any errors, I will try to fix them asap when I have a clearer mindset.

Capricious stared at her reflection in the mirror, with scissors in hand. She could see her roots growing out, underneath all the strands of bleached hair. She then shut her eyes as she remembered fire burning into her retinas.

  
  
She caused that fire, which had also sparked Duncan’s rage.

  
Duncan turned his back on her. He left with Qiu by his side, leaving Capricious behind with both Racter and Gobbet.

  
“You had a chance to live a normal life…” Capricious whispered to her reflection. “You could had returned to Seattle with Duncan… and leave everything behind…”  
  
But, she decided to take on Kindly’s offer instead of Qiu’s.  
  
“You made your choice… you can’t do anything about it now…” she continued.  
  
Duncan’s bitter words echoed in her mind, even when she tried to sleep.  
  
She then stood here in the bathroom, staring at herself.  
  
“I am sorry, Duncan… but… I can’t just leave my friends either…” She then raised up the scissors to snip away the bleached mess that is her hair, leaving only the dark strands untouched. She looked like her old self before her time in prison.  
  
But, she is not the same person.

  
After a shower and a change of clothes, Capricious stepped out of her bathroom, and looked around her room.  
  
Thanks to Isobel, she has a computer that she often messes around with, both inside and out. There are multiple monitors that sat on her desk, some of them attached to each other. Cables were kept neat and under the rug so she wouldn’t trip herself, and sorted just in case something goes wrong with one of them. Capricious loves it.  
  
She then turned to a poster that Gobbet gave her. “It’s a gift that Madness wanted me to take,” Gobbet claimed. “Found it plastered on the wall of that bar we fought, when we had to take back that artifact for Kindly.” The poster itself might have looked bland, but the blood stains gave it a bit of flair. Capricious chuckled as she laid on her bed.  
  
She still felt restless.  
  
Unfortunately, everyone is asleep at this time, so there was no one she could speak to. No one to help her laugh away her troubles.

  
  
And no Duncan to go to.

  
Capricious wasn’t alone, but she felt lonely.

  
A familiar feeling that she had back at prison.

  
But, she made her choice.

  
At an attempt to distract herself, Capricious decided to go to her computer to kill some time, by reading a book or playing a game.  
  
Unfortunately, she couldn’t concentrate on either one of them.  
  
She then decided to play music. The volume should be low enough so it wouldn’t disturb anyone outside her room, but loud enough for her to find comfort in. She even got up from her seat to dance to it.  
  
Capricious always fancied ballet, and even attempted to practice her moves, but she found it quite difficult. Still, it was fun to at least try to clear her mind by moving along with the song, even though it was anything but classical music.  
  
She nearly tripped at some point, when she heard a knock on her door. She quickly shut the music off, before opening it in a hurry. Before she could say anything, Gobbet tackled Capricious into a tight hug, followed by Isobel as she carried some pillows with her.  
  
“Hey, Seattle, having the time of your life in here?” Gobbet asked with a wide smile. “Hope you don’t mind us barging in.”  
  
Capricious was stunned, until Isobel tossed her a pillow. “Gobbet wanted us to sleepover here,” she said.  
  
“Since we know that you must feel lonely, after what happened and all- hey wait, what did you do to your hair?”  
  
Capricious ran her finger through her hair, noticing how short it was compared to before. “Gave myself a haircut,” she replied. “Think it was time for a change, and my hair was a mess anyway.”  
  
Gobbet snickered as Isobel sat beside her. “Well, it looks good, I think. Is that your natural hair color?”  
  
Capricious nodded with a bashful smile.  
  
“It’s odd to see you without your bleached hair…” Isobel pointed out. “But, yeah, it does look pretty good.”  
  
Capricious couldn’t contain herself anymore, and just burst out laughing. “Stop it, you are just fueling my ego here!” Once she calmed down, she pulled off the mattress from her bunk bed and placed it on the floor. “You guys have anything to sleep on?”  
  
“Oh, right!” Gobbet’s eyes widen in realization as she hurried out the room. She then came back with Isobel’s sleeping bag, and a few more pillows. As soon as she gave the sleeping bag to Isobel, Gobbet just tossed the pillows on the ground. “So, Seattle… that tune you were playing… can you play it again, but louder? If we are going to have a sleepover, we need to be as loud as possible.”  
  
Capricious looked to the floor, then to Gobbet. The music may bother the men downstairs, but something about it amused her. Once she resumed the music, she raised the volume high enough that she could feel it rumble on her table. It was some sort of music that clearly was not in Cantonese, but it had a solid tune for Gobbet to bop to.  
  
Even Capricious couldn’t hold back from singing along with it, as badly as she was at it.  
  
Eventually, she had to lower the volume once she heard someone knock on her door again.  
  
Capricious tried to keep her face straight as she saw both Racter and Gaichu glaring at her, both looking ragged and irritated. She then turned to the girls. Gobbet laughed out loud, while Isobel giggled.  
  
“Sorry, guys,” Capricious said. “Just… having a sleepover.”  
  
Racter smoothed his hair back as he spoke to her as calmly as possible. “You’re certainly being loud for a ‘sleepover’.”  
  
“I will lower the volume so you guys can go back to sleep, okay? Deal? No need for anyone to be upset!” Capricious tried to make a serious face, but she seemed too amused to hold it back.  
  
Racter glanced at Koschei, before he let out a huff. He then forced him inside the room first, making Capricious step back. She then turned to the girls with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, but we really should keep it quiet from now on.”  
  
Gobbet shrugged with a grin, while Isobel straightened out her sleeping back in the corner of the room with a smile. “It was fun while it lasted, Seattle, so don’t worry too much about it.”  
  
Capricious turned off the music, before turning to the men. “Sorry for disturbing you two.”  
  
As the drone returned to his side, Racter gave Koschei a content pat. But as soon as he made eye contact with her, Capricious felt her spine shiver, and noticed a grin on his face, before he left with Gaichu.  
  
That doesn’t bode well for her, she thought. Ah well.  


As the girls fell asleep, Capricious stared at her ceiling in silence, thinking about everything that has happened up until this point. Despite everything, at least she is still alive, she thought.  
  
Though, it did hurt her to realize that Duncan really did leave, she hoped that he will at least be okay. Even if they do care about each other deeply, it was because of her that he couldn’t go back to his old life.  
  
And her chances at finding a suitable hospital for her condition is definitely quite low now.  
  
But, they both will be alright, she believed.  
  
It may be selfish of her to think of it this way, but she is definitely looking forward to whatever the future has in store for her. May there be chaos and mayhem where ever she and her crew goes.


	6. Not So Important Chapter: Indulgence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Capricious just can't control herself sometimes, especially when she is once again in Racter's workshop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something self indulgent that I wanted to write. It's not great, and I don't believe I wrote one of the characters as they should be, but I just wanted this out of my system. I keep putting Capricious on the center, though I try to focus on other characters instead. I am trying to get the hang of that, but not in this chapter.

Capricious leapt down from the steps into Racter’s workshop, as the ship shook against the waves. He clearly was putting himself at risk with running the shop, which worried Capricious, but he knew what he was doing.  
  
Or so he often claimed.  
  
It wasn’t long until the mechanical arms came to a stop. “How brave of you to be here, my friend,” Racter spoke up, as he got up from his chair. He wasn’t wearing his long coat, but he did have his gloves on. “But, not unexpected. How may I help you?”  
  
“I came by for a chat, if you’re up for it,” she replied, while clutching onto the handle of the stairs.  
  
“Of course.” He pulled out a cigarette, then lit it up. “What do you wish to talk about?”  
  
“Considering one of our previous chats… about… me… and you…” she paused feeling a tad bashful, before shaking the feeling off. “I don’t want any misunderstanding between us, I just want to say that, I am sorry if I was acting weird. I know I tend to act weird when I get excited for whatever reason, and the shock of having… to face my condition again after so long had caused that. So… sorry…”  
  
Racter waved his hand with the cigarette tucked between his fingers, leaving a trail of smoke. “I did not misunderstood you, but I found your confession amusing, my friend." He then paused to inhale the cigarette into his lungs. "You aware that it can’t be properly requited, yes?”  
  
Capricious could hear the ship creak and rumble as she was silent. She then let out a forced laugh. “Yeah… I know. But, that’s not what I am asking for anyway. I just… don’t want you to think that I am afraid of you.”  
  
The way his icy stare gleamed in the dim workshop sent chills up her spine. He started to stepped forward, along with Koschei. Capricious could not stare into his eyes, and instead fixed her gaze onto his feet, freed from his boots. The sound of metal clanking against metal hit her ears, but she did not move an inch as he stood before her.  
  
She then raised up her eyes to meet with his. “So you can walk well with those?”  
  
He was silent as he stared at her.  
  
“I guess this is proof enough…” She huffed.  
  
“You’ve cut your hair,” he pointed out, as he raised his hand up to her face. Capricious could feel her heart beat rapidly against her chest as she felt his warmth. It was not him, she was afraid of. It was herself. The inability to control herself.  
  
“Yeah… my hair was a tangled mess, if you remembered.”  
  
“It certainly was.” He stared back into her eyes as he stroke her cheek.  
  
She took in a deep breath, taking in the cigarette smoke into her mouth, mixed with the scent of oil and metal. She then bit her lip to breathe out of her nose, to ease her beating heart. A low chuckle escaped from her. “I shouldn’t had come here to apologize…” she said. “I feel as if I made things worse…”  
  
Racter chuckled as he perked her chin up. “I would have to disagree,” he said. “You still haven’t run off screaming, and I can tell that there is hunger in your eyes. A sort of hunger that can be satiated, if you wish to indulge, my friend.”  
  
Capricious’ lips curled as she could feel her cheeks flush. “But, you said… my feelings can’t be requited.”  
  
“Not emotionally, no… but it’s possible to fulfill your urges… After all, they didn’t take everything from you.”  
  
Capricious pursed her lips, then slowly lowered his hand. “You’re driving me crazy, Racter… besides, even if I do, you know we aren’t alone here.” She nodded towards the door where Gaichu lives.  
  
On cue, the ghoul revealed himself from the darkness of his room. Once Capricious stepped aside, Gaichu climbed up the stairs, and shut the hatch closed behind him.  
  
She then gave Racter a crooked grin, as he took in a deep breath of the cigarette. He then turned to her, exhaling out the smoke.  
  
“Are you still up for it?” she asked.  
  
Koschei’s engine rumbled and whirred, while Racter’s lips curled into a smile.  
  
“Then, indulge me, my friend.” She chuckled.


End file.
